Ramona Flowers vs The Timeline
by JMFearless
Summary: Based on the film and set after the end of it. Ramona wakes up to find that everyone but her believes that Scott died three years ago. Can she restore the true history and save him? Hope you enjoy this. Please read and review.
1. Chapter One: Gone

**A/N: Okay, so a couple of notes. One, this fic is based off the movie rather than the comics. There's no category for it yet, so yeah. Two, this'll be a little more serious than the film was. I'm not very good at comedy, so I hope you can forgive that. **

Disclaimer: I have no ownership of the Scott Pilgrim franchise or the characters therein. Wouldn't that be cool though?

Ramona Flowers vs. the Timeline

(Ramona's POV)

I have a headache. An official, one hundred percent bona fide headache. No, I'm not drunk or anything. I think I had too many doses of rock music yesterday. I mean, the band was really good, but I'm not too hot on the side effects. I'll have to mention that to Scott when we decide where to go for our next date. Post-date sex: fine. Post-date headache: torture. You'd think after dating Todd _and _the Katanayagi twins, I'd be used to loud noises, but this still happens sometimes. Okay, not thinking about the vanquished evil exes. This train of thought is officially heading in another direction. My back hurts too. Definitely time to invest in a new mattress. Thankfully, I have the day off from work today. Good thing too, because I need to call Scott so he can get over here and give me a back rub. I grab the cordless and immediately dial his cell number. To my surprise, it's not Scott who answers the phone, but some girl.

"Who is this?" she demands.

"Ummm…my name's Ramona," I answer, trying to shift gears, "Is Scott there?"

"Who's Scott?" she asks me, "This is my phone." What the heck does that mean? Did I dial the wrong number? I pull the phone away from my ear and look at the display. No, this is definitely the right number.

"No it isn't," I tell her, "This is my boyfriend Scott's phone number."

"Look, I don't know a Scott and I'm definitely not your boyfriend," the girl says, "This is my phone. Don't call me again you freak!" She hangs up and I set the phone back on the hook. What the hell was that? Is Scott playing some kind of prank on me? If he is, I'm gonna make him pay for this, I don't care what he did for me. Knives. Maybe he's with Knives. Here's hoping _her_ number is still the same, at least. I grab the phone again dial. Thankfully, the voice that answers is Knives, so at least the _whole_ world hasn't gone crazy.

"Hey Knives, it's Ramona," I tell her, "Is Scott with you?"

"Scott?" she asks, "I don't know a Scott and I definitely don't know a Ramona. Who are you?" What the hell? This is officially nuts.

"I'm Ramona Flowers," I tell her in a frustrated voice, "You and I are friends. Scott Pilgrim is my boyfriend. He helped me out by beating the hell out of my seven evil exes. None of this is ringing a bell?"

"What mental hospital did you escape from?" Knives asks me, "Wait, did you say Scott Pilgrim?"

"Yeah," I say dully. I'm starting to get tired of the joke now.

"Well, he can't be your boyfriend," Knives says.

"And why not?" I ask her angrily.

"Whoa, take it easy," she says, "I wasn't trying to say he wouldn't date you or anything like that. It's just…Scott Pilgrim is dead."

"Dead?" I ask her, "But I just saw him last night. We went on a date together."

"That's not possible," Knives said, "He was murdered three years ago. It was all over the news. Not sure why I remembered it really, it just sorta stuck with me."

"Is this a joke Knives?" I ask her, "Because this isn't funny!"

"Look I don't know who you are or how you know my name, but I can tell you that I don't joke about people being dead," she said, "If you don't believe me, go to the local cemetery. I'm pretty sure he's got a grave there."

"Right," I say, "Thanks Knives."

"Whatever," she says, hanging up. This cannot be happening. There is no way Scott can be dead. I'm going to go the cemetery to see this so-called grave and find Scott waiting for me with some kind of surprise. When I do, I'm going to force him to make up for this with a proper date. I'm talking a high class restaurant with a stupid dress code and some cheesy after dinner entertainment. During this date, I will order the most expensive meal on the menu. In fact, I will order seconds, maybe thirds. Then, I will make him pay the bill. Yeah, that'll teach him to make me worry like this. Okay Ramona, take a deep breath. First step: Get directions to the cemetery. I should have thought to ask Knives which cemetery it was. Well, she said it was local. Can't be too many cemeteries in the area. I guess I'll try the nearest one. Too bad I have no idea where that is. When you've known the kind of people that I have, you don't make a habit of taking shortcuts through cemeteries. I suppose I can always ask directions though.

I'm too freaked out to worry about showering or anything now, so I grab the first set of clean clothes I can throw together and head out, grabbing my keys and locking the door behind me. Call it big city instinct, but I don't trust people enough to leave my door unlocked. I flag down the first person I see on the street and ask about the cemetery. He looks at me like he thinks I'm weird, but politely gives me directions anyway. As I walk that way, I start thinking about how strange this whole thing is. This is pretty elaborate for a practical joke and that isn't really Scott's style, even if he wanted to surprise me. Maybe Wallace put him up to it. The one thing I know for sure is that it can't be real. I saw him last night. We were together, on a date. He couldn't have been killed three years ago. It just wouldn't make any sense.

It doesn't take me long to find the cemetery. It's a nice place. When I die I want to be buried here. It's like the cemetery version of the Ritz. Well, not really, but it's still pretty nice. Now to find Scott and give him a piece of my mind. Where would he be hiding in a place like this? I decide to walk among the graves. I'm supposed to be finding his "grave", so maybe he left some kind of marker or indicator. I mean, it's not like he could arrange to have a fake grave placed. One catches my eye as I walk and my breath catches in my throat. _Here lies Scott Pilgrim, citizen, friend, musician. _A fairly plain epitaph for a grave, but it says plenty for me. His date of death is listed as three years ago. It's dawning on me now. This is real. Scott never could have faked this. He really is dead. But how is that possible? He was alive and walking around with me yesterday. That much I'm sure of. This is all wrong. I'm dimly aware now that tears are starting to fall from my eyes, landing all around my feet. I try to choke them back, knowing I don't have time to cry over this. Only one thing can explain this: something or someone has altered history and caused Scott to die. That's why that number no longer reaches him and why Knives doesn't know him.

"Did you know him?" a voice asks from behind me. Startled, I turn around. Kim is standing there, staring at the grave. She looks almost sad, which is a bit jarring for me. I'm used to that dull, uninterested look that she usually wears. How should I answer her? She probably doesn't remember me either. After all, according to this mixed up reality, Scott and I apparently never met and therefore, neither have Kim and I.

"No," I say quietly, "It's just…it's sad that someone had to die so young." I decide that I can't keep up this conversation now, so I turn and leave without another word. I've already decided that I have to fix this. Scott belongs here and I'm the only one who knows that. But how on Earth am I going to save him? I don't know right now, so I go back home. I have to think this over and maybe get some rest. Suddenly, the plans I had for today don't seem so important anymore. As soon as I get back in, I grab the key and open the door. It's funny how you can only be awake for an hour and then experience something that makes you want to go back to sleep. This is one of those. So I guess that's what I'll do. I peel my shoes and socks off, but I've already decided to forgo the mattress. No way am I getting to sleep again on that thing. I head over to the couch instead and lie down, willing my eyes to close. Somehow I get the feeling that sleep won't come easy.


	2. Chapter Two: But Not Forgotten

**A mysterious voice echoes down from the heavens…**

Voice: My sincere apologies for interrupting this narrative. Mr. Fearless has asked me to speak on his behalf and answer the reviews left by his readers.

Ramona: Ah, excuse me. I was telling a story here!

Voice: Now Ramona, if you complain, Mr. Fearless might bring down your role in the story.

Ramona: Yeah right. Like he'd do that. I'm the Main Character after all.

Voice: Mr. Fearless would like me to remind you that he could make someone else the Main Character. If you don't behave, he might go back and make Envy the hero of this story.

Ramona: Envy? Ugh…fine. *sighs* Go on then.

Voice: Thank you. Now where was I? Ah yes, answering the reviews. First, Mr. Fearless would like to thank crazysniper and Shadowed-Moon2525 for the positive feedback. It always fills him with joy to see that someone enjoys his work. Secondly, he would like to thank TrixieStixs for the feedback and take the time to address some of his questions and concerns. First, regarding Knives Chau, Mr. Fearless presumed that she would be less clingy than her usual self given the fact that in this reality, Scott died before the two of them met. He believes it would be difficult to be clingy about someone you never met. Second, Ramona may have help in her efforts. Of course, that would require her to complete the difficult task of convincing people she isn't insane. Second, Mr. Fearless thinks that Ramona saving Scott will probably involve magic rather than technology. But that comes later. Third, three years means three years from the current date, which is approximately one month from the end of the movie. So yes, he would have died in college. Now then, with those questions answered, let us continue with the story.

Ramona: Thank you. Now for Chapter Two.

Chapter Two: But Not Forgotten

(Ramona's POV)

Okay, I did just fall asleep on my couch right? Which means that this could only be a dream, because people do not end up in the middle of the park immediately after falling asleep unless they're dreaming.

"Guess you could call it a dream," a familiar sounding voice says, "But it's more like a special memory."

"Scott?" I ask, "Are you there?"

"Behind you," Scott says, causing me to turn around and gasp, "You've been crying."

"Well yeah," I tell him, "Back in the real world, you're dead. Why wouldn't I cry?"

"Stop, you're flattering me," he says, "You remember this night don't you?"

"It wasn't _that _long ago, Scott," I tell him with a grin, "Of course I remember it. This is the night we took a walk here. You were wearing that stupid hat."

"You didn't like the hat?" he asks.

"It was covering your hair," I tell him, "What's to like about that?"

**The scene freezes and the mysterious voice appears again**

Voice: This is boring. Don't you two have something kind of important to get to?

Ramona: Again? Really? We were kind of having a moment there. Why do you keep butting in on the story?

Scott: Yeah man, we wouldn't barge in on _you_ like this.

Voice: Mr. Fearless wanted me to inform the readers that I'm just a comic relief character and not in any way important to the story.

Ramona: You wouldn't need to inform them about that if you didn't constantly interrupt. Plus, I'm sure most of them already figured that out. Now get lost!

Voice: Very well. Till next time.

Scott: Sorry about this, readers. *embarrassed grin* Now then, let's get back to it, shall we?

**The scene resumes.**

"Hey look, here we come," he says grinning, "Wow, you're right, that really was a stupid hat."

"I have a question," I ask him, "Are you really here or are you just a figment of my imagination?"

"I'm really here," he says, "I'm not part of the timeline anymore, but I'm still with you."

"Why do I remember the real history when nobody else does?" I ask.

"I don't really know," he says, "If I had to guess, I'd say that it's because we're connected. Not even something like this could make either of us forget what we went through."

"Yeah, that was pretty wild," I tell him laughing, "So I how do I fix it? I mean, this is great, but I'd rather have you in the real world."

"I don't know, but I can try and gather information on my end," he says.

"That would be good," I answer, "So you're okay, right?"

"Well, it's not paradise, but I'm not being tortured either, so yeah, I'm doing all right," he says, "But there is something I should warn you about. We aren't the only ones who remember. They do too." I don't even need to ask who he means.

"My exes," I say, "As far as this reality is concerned, you never beat them. But why do they remember?"

"I don't know that either," he says, "I don't have all the answers. All I know is that I felt them earlier. I'm not really sure how to explain it."

"If they know about this, that means they might use the opportunity to come after me," I say, looking around nervously, "And here I was getting used to the freedom."

"Don't worry," he says, "You're safe here. They shouldn't be able to get to you inside your head. But you'll need to be able to defend yourself when you're awake."

"Well, I do know how to fight," I tell him, "But we both know how tough they are. What if I can't handle it?"

"You can handle it. I seem to remember that you're pretty hardcore." he says, "But just in case, take this." Within moments, a sword is drawn from his heart.

"Isn't that your Power of Love sword?" I ask him, "I thought that Gideon shattered that."

"Ramona, it's the Power of Love," he says, laughing, "It's not that easily destroyed. Just take it. A gift from my heart to yours." He places the sword against my heart and it sinks in. Surprisingly, it doesn't hurt. Actually, it feels kind of warm.

"You know, considering that this sword represents the love you feel for me, I think this might be the nicest gift I've ever gotten." I give him a small smile.

"It's mutual love," he says, "At least, I hope."

"Yeah, it is," I confirm, "So how do I get it out again?"

"I'd think that's obvious, wouldn't you?" he says, "It responds to your heart. Think of me and it'll come to you."

"So that's how it works," I say appreciatively, "Cool." Talk about an awesome weapon.

"Yeah, it's pretty handy," he says, "So, it looks like you have about a half hour before you wake up from this. Anything else I can do before that?"

"Think you can work on this knot in my back?" I ask him.

"Sure, but this is only a dream, so it'll still hurt when you get up," he comments, laughing.

"I'll take it," I tell him, "Better than nothing."

He moves over quietly and begins gently rubbing my back. Ahhh, bliss. The only thing that really ruins this is knowing that it can't last. Soon enough it'll be time to head back to reality. Guess April really is the cruelest month.

**After the scene fades out, a blue text box appears. White letters begin to spell out words in it.**

GREETINGS READERS. MR. FEARLESS FELT THAT THE MYSTERIOUS VOICE WAS BECOMING AN OVERUSED GAG, SO HE HAS CHOSEN THIS METHOD TO IMPART FURTHER INFORMATION (AND TO AVOID BORING YOU). HE THOUGHT THERE MIGHT BE SOME CONFUSION REGARDING THE LAST LINE OF THE CHAPTER. THE LINE "APRIL IS THE CRUELEST MONTH" IS FROM A POEM BY T.S. ELIOT. THIS LINE IS MENTIONED IN THE ATLUS GAME "SHIN MEGAMI TENSEI: NOCTURNE" BY A CHARACTER NAMED HIKAWA, WHO SAYS THAT THE REASON THAT APRIL IS THE CRUELEST MONTH IS BECAUSE "IT IS THEN THAT ONE MUST WAKE UP FROM A LONG SLEEP AND FACE THE BARREN WORLD." IN OTHER WORDS, BY REFERENCING THE LINE, RAMONA IS EXPRESSING HER WISH NOT TO WAKE UP FROM A PLEASANT DREAM. WELL, THAT IS ALL. MR. FEARLESS HOPES THAT YOU ENJOYED THE CHAPTER.


	3. Chapter Three: Fire

**The blue text box appears again**

Ramona: What the hell? What is this thing? This is a story, not a Final Fantasy rip-off!

Scott: I dunno. I think it's kind of cool. It's just like a game of FF7. *grin*

Ramona: You're a geek, you know that?

Scott: But you love me that way. *small smirk*

Ramona: Yeah, I do. Now let's see what this thing has to say so I can get on with the story.

THIS IS ANOTHER REVIEW ANSWER. FIRST OF ALL MR. FEARLESS IS GLAD THAT YOU LIKED HIS COMEDIC STYLINGS. HE WAS WORRIED THAT THEY WOULDN'T BE SEEN AS FUNNY. HE WOULD ALSO LIKE TO MENTION THAT HIS EXPERTISE IS IN MYSTERY AND FANTASY STORIES, SO EXPECT TO SEE SOME TRACES OF THAT IN HIS WRITING. REGARDING HIS CHARACTERIZATION OF SCOTT PILGRIM, HE ADMITS TO HAVING HAD DIFFICULTY WITH THAT ELEMENT. WRITING SPAZZY CHARACTERS ISN'T HIS STRONG POINT. ALSO, HE FIGURES SCOTT PROBABLY PRACTICED WHAT HE WOULD SAY TO RAMONA WHEN HE SAW HER AGAIN.

Scott: What? I did not? That was totally improvised!

**JMFearless enters the room.**

JMFearless: *eye roll* Of course you did, Scott. Like we're really supposed to believe that you came up with that on the spot?

Scott: Yes…yes you are supposed to believe that. And TrixieStixs, you're a jerk for saying stuff like that. I can be smooth when I want to be.

**Wallace enters the room, munching on popcorn. **

Wallace: Says the guy who met his girlfriend by ordering a completely meaningless package from Amazon.

Scott: You're a dick, you know that Wallace?

Wallace: Tell me something I don't know, Scott.

Ramona: *bursts into laughter*

Scott: Ramona, this isn't funny.

Ramona: Funny for me. Look, don't worry about it all right? I thought the package thing was sweet in a weird sort of way. Now, if you two clowns don't mind, I have a story to get back to here.

JMFearless: Right, anyway, here comes Chapter Three.

Chapter Three: Fire

You know what I've learned from visiting other people's dreams? Compared to them, the reality always sucks. I think that must be because people pump up their dreams to match their expectations and then they wake up to a reality that doesn't measure up. Now I know how they feel. I much preferred the dream with Scott then the reality without him. Well, I guess I'll just have to hurry up and fix that. Gotta find the evil exes first. If they're really aware of the change, then they must know who caused it. So I'll just find one of them and beat it out of them. Except I really have no idea how to find them. Too bad I don't have an "evil freak show" detector or something. That would be at least I'm feeling a little rested. Scott was right though: My back still hurts. Another shining example of the difference between dreams and reality. Even now I'm wondering if it was real. Was Scott really there or did I create him? But, he did say that he was the real Scott. Okay, Ramona, stay in control. You can't get distracted by questions like that if you want to save him. The waiting is the worst part of this. I mean, I don't even have any information on the cause of this. If I knew that, maybe I could work out a way to reverse it. The exes would probably know, but it's not like they'd tell me. Maybe I can find one of them and beat it out of them. But I don't even know where they are. Man, this sucks. My head is going around in circles here. Okay, if Scott were here he would tell me to take care of myself and not forget to do the normal stuff, like eat. I already skipped breakfast thanks to my visit to the cemetery and subsequent trip to dreamland. Only problem, I can't cook. Scott was the resident chef in our relationship. Oh crap, I just said "was", didn't I? I mentally wince at that. Must be more careful with that. There won't be any "was" anymore, because I'm going to save him. Anyway, my stomach is giving me hell for missing breakfast, so I've got to go get a burger or something. I grab my wallet and keys and open the door, debating whether to grab my skates. Ultimately I decide to walk. It'll give me time to clear my head. Scott would criticize me for picking fast food, but I don't have the energy for anything else right now.

"Ramona Flowers!" a familiar voice calls out from somewhere behind me. Oh great. Here comes number one.

"Matthew," I say, turning around, "I was kind of hoping not to see you again."

**At this point, a black info box appears next to Ramona. It reads, "Blatant lie. She wants to see him, but not for the reason he's hoping."**

"Well, we all want things," he tells me, "For example, now that you're single, I want to well…rekindle our relationship." A small flame appeared on his hand at the word "rekindle."

"A villain pun?" I ask him, "Really? No wonder you're always chasing after me. You're too lame to get a date from anyone else."

"People change," he said, "They evolve. In fact, sometimes they learn some new tricks. See, before I could _control _fire. Now, I _am _fire!" His whole body bursts into flame.

"So you're The Human Torch now?" I ask him, "How unoriginal. Is that a gift from your reality-warping benefactor?"

"You could say that," he says, flinging a fireball at me.

"Who is it Matthew?" I yell at him, "Who messed with history?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?" he asks me, "Well, you know what I'd like?"

"Yeah, I've got a few ideas," I tell him.

**Ramona's three ideas for what Matthew would like **

**To have sex with her. (Like that's ever happening.)**

**To burn her to a crisp, so he doesn't have to remember her anymore. **

**To genuinely rekindle their relationship. (Again, never happening. Especially not with the lame villain puns.)**

"Well, what do you say?" he asks.

"I say if you want a girl so bad, why don't you summon a couple of those demon sluts of yours?" I answer him with a sly smile.

"Demon _hipsters _bitch!" he screams, throwing another fireball at me. I manage to dodge out of the way, but this one explodes behind me, knocking me to the ground. Damn. He's right about one thing. He's gotten more powerful. Whoever orchestrated this must be tough as hell. I get up again, breathing hard.

"All right, I'll admit, you've gotten pretty tough," I tell him, "But you and I will never be back together. When are you going to realize that I didn't love you? You were just a bodyguard to keep the jocks away. You're a joke."

"We'll see if you're laughing after I send you to hell!" he screams, gathering up another fireball. Crap, guess I'd better shut up and fight. But I can't punch someone covered in flames. I have Scott's sword, but it's made of flame too. Contrary to popular wisdom, something tells me that literally fighting fire with fire won't be very effective. Okay Ramona, calm down. What would Scott do here? Outwit him? Maybe. He's powerful, but he's not the brightest bulb on the chandelier. Unfortunately, my only plan to do that would put a lot of people at risk, including me. Call me soft, but I don't really want people to die on my account. Had enough of that for one life time. Inspiration strikes me when I see a guy watering his lawn with a hose. Can't believe I didn't think of this earlier. Instead of fire, I should use water. Oh crap, here comes the fireball. Too big to dodge. Damn. Only one thing I can think of. I close my eyes and focus on Scott. His beautiful face, his goofy smile, his tendency to say stupid stuff. My heart starts to beat a little faster and The Power of Love sword bursts out of it. I grab the hilt quickly and bring the flaming blade up to block his fireball. Thankfully, the fire vs. fire logic also works in reverse.

"His sword?" he asks, "Well aren't you just full of surprises?" I ignore him and try to think of the nearest available water source. Fire trucks are starting to arrive to deal with the flames. Good news for me, bad news for Matthew. Dodging a bunch of fireballs, I hurry over to one of the trucks and grab a hose, which thankfully is already hooked to a hydrant. "Need to borrow this," I tell the fireman, "Thanks."

"Hey wait, we need that," the fireman calls after me.

"Not as bad as I do," I tell him, "If you ever want to control this fire, turn this thing on now!"

"I'm supposed to take instructions from some girl?" he asks me.

"You see that guy with the flaming skin?" I ask him, "That guy really has a grudge against me and he'll burn down this whole area just to get rid of me unless I do something to stop him. So don't think of me as 'just some girl.' Think of me as the person saving these people's lives. Which, if memory serves, is supposed to be _your _job." He looks freaked out now. Guess I got his attention.

"I'll just go turn this on," he says, hurrying over to the hose control. Soon enough, water starts bursting out of it. Damn, this is gonna be harder than I thought. This thing is tough to control, but I manage to get it aimed at Matthew, dousing him water. Soon enough, the flames surrounding his body go out. Using the opportunity, I charge in his direction and slug him in the stomach, causing him to burst into a pile of coins.

"One punch, just like before," I say with a smirk. I scoop up the coins and count them: only $1.80 this time. "And you're still a cheap date," I say to the coins, "If you'd paid for a meal once in a while, maybe we would've had a future."

**A black info box appears next to Ramona. It reads: "Another blatant lie. As if Matthew could ever have a future **

Speaking of meals, now I'm really hungry. I could easily pound down a couple of supersize burgers now. In fact, my stomach won't wait another second. Off to the burger joint for me.

**The scene fades to black, signifying the end of the chapter. Ramona, Scott, and JMFearless appear.**

Ramona: Damn, now I've got burns. Fearless, did you give Matthew some evil pills for this fight or something? I mean, in the movie he was more "pathetic guy with mystical powers", whereas the guy I fought just now had a touch of "murderous bastard" going on.

Scott: Yeah man, did you fuck up the characterization again?

JMFearless: *sigh* No Scott, I did not fuck up the characterization. That was entirely intentional. Try and keep up with me here. The person who altered the history also enhanced the exes' abilities, as Matthew was kind enough to demonstrate. This additional power made the exes unstable.

Ramona: More unstable than they were before?

JMFearless: Pretty much, yeah. Matthew's mind was messed up by his enhanced power, which is why he was more vicious than in the movie. In other words Ramona, your evil exes have some extra evil now. Have fun.

Ramona: You're a bastard. And you owe me some burn cream when this is all over. The expensive stuff, none of that cheap store brand crap.

JMFearless: *eye roll* Right, right. *disappears*

Scott: Burn cream? Really? *smirks at Ramona*

Ramona: Shut up, Scott. *smacks him on the arm*

Scott: *bursts into laughter*

Ramona: Not funny, Scott.

Scott: Funny for me.

Ramona: *sigh* Anyway, hope you enjoyed the chapter. Stay tuned for Chapter Four, that is if Fearless ever gets out his head out of his ass.

JMFearless: *from elsewhere* I heard that.

Ramona: You were meant to. *eye roll* Anyway, later readers.


	4. Chapter Four: Cloning Blues

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews. And Voice4TheMute, I don't think you'll have to worry about an overly long preamble for this chapter, because I couldn't come up with a witty opening. I'll just have to settle for "Enjoy the chapter."**

Chapter Four: Cloning Blues

This is almost as good as Scott's cooking. Two giant grilled burgers. Glad I went for the restaurant rather than fast food. Definitely worth the extra expense. I'm plowing through them like I haven't seen food in a while. Fighting has that effect on me.

"Well, well, well," a voice echoes, slicing through the cold air, "Ramona Flowers. I've got a bone to pick with you."

"Lucas Lee," I say, rolling my eyes and getting up from my seat. I turn around to see the face of yet another evil ex. "This is like déjà vu all over again. You're interrupting my meal and I want you to go away. Just like the first day after our breakup."

"Ah, come on Ramona," he says, "I heard about Scott. You must be a little lonely."

"Not lonely enough to settle for you," I tell him, "I already went there once. You wanna know why I cheated on you? Because you were a boring, whiny little skate rat. And don't give me that 'I heard about Scott' crap. I know that you know what's going on here. So, who's responsible for you being back anyway?"

"As if I'd tell you that," he said with a smirk, "It really is too bad about him though. He really did seem like a nice guy. If he hadn't been dating you, I think him and I could've gotten along just fine." I ignore the statement. He's just trying to get under my skin.

"Lucas, do me a favor and take a long walk off a short pier, okay?" I ask him, giving him a sardonic smile.

"You still have a bad attitude," he says, "Let's fix that."

"You're challenging me to a fight?" I ask him, "Great. I just dealt with Matthew and now I have to deal with you too? Don't you guys have anything better to do?"

"Nope," he says, "My latest movie got cancelled. Don't know why, it was gonna be a real hit."

"With _you_ in it? Guess there's no accounting for taste, huh?" I ask him, standing up. I was hoping to avoid this, but I guess I'm gonna have to beat him too. "So where's your lame stunt team? Thought you never went anywhere without them."

"Oh, I don't use stunt men anymore," he says, "These are much more cost-effective." He snaps his fingers and suddenly I'm surrounded by at least a dozen copies of Lucas. Great, he can make clones of himself now. Wonderful.

"And here I thought _one _of you was ugly," I tell him.

"I don't think you're in a position to make jokes," one of the clones says, "Maybe you haven't noticed, but there are twelve of me here."

"Twelve of nothing is still nothing, Lucas," I say, allowing images of Scott to flood my mind again. Sure enough, the sword responds again and I'm able to draw it out.

"Well, that's interesting," he says, "And here I'd thought he was gone for good. Guess we're all disappointed today. Well, I think we've wasted enough time on idle chatter." The clones charge at me and one lands a shot to my gut, causing me to groan.

"How does it feel to have me hurting you for once?" Lucas's voice says as the clone nails me in the head., which only makes my headache feel worse. Yeah, even that little catnap I took earlier didn't make that feel better.

"That hurt like hell!" I scream at him, glaring, "Tell me who changed history now or I'm going to kill you!"

"Ramona, we already covered this. I'm not going to tell you anything." he says, "Part of the deal."

"Then die bastard," I screamed in a rage. The flaming blade of the sword turns from orange to black.

**A text box appears above Ramona's head: **THE POWER OF LOVE BECAME THE POWER OF RAGE.

I'm only shocked for a moment before swinging the black flaming sword wildly, watching as the clones at my side burst into coins. Gotta take out the original. He's snapping his fingers and more clones appear in front of him. I keep charging blindly and slash through them in a fury. Piles of coins erupt beside me, but ignore them. I violently plunge the sword into Lucas's heart. A pile of coins appears at my feet and I stare down at them. "Enjoy hell Lucas," I tell the coins, "May your suffering be long and agonizing." I'm aware that I'm breathing hard, but the feeling of anger is gone along with him. That guy really rubs me the wrong way. Can't believe I ever dated him. Must've been temporary insanity or something. The sword's flame is turning red again, which is good. For a minute I was worried that I'd ruined Scott's sword. But now I'm just wiped out. I'm heading home to sleep through the rest of the day. No more evil-ex fights for me. I hope not anyway. I feel like I can barely take another step. In fact, I feel like I'm about to pass out right here. I used up a lot of energy. The last thing I feel before my eyes close is the back of my head hitting the ground.

(The culprit's POV)

Well that was an entertaining show. Good to see that Ramona didn't do anything to bore me, like dying. I could go after her, but it's not any fun taking out an unconscious person. Besides, I don't want to kill her yet. Or at all, if I can avoid it. After all, I am doing all this for her. It's working, too. She's been running away from me, but now she's looking for me instead. Everything is going according to plan. In hindsight, I suppose I didn't _have _to make the exes not tell her about me, but again, that wouldn't be any fun. I like watching her struggle to find me. She's not running away not. Have a nice nap Ramona, but don't think our little game won't continue.

**The scene fades to black. Ramona and Scott appear.**

Ramona: You left me passed out at a burger joint, Fearless? What if someone comes along and steals my wallet?

Scott: You're being stalked by some unknown malevolent being who gave extra power to your evil exes and you're worried about having your wallet stolen?

Ramona: Yeah, Scott, I am. All my cash and cards and shit are in there.

Scott: Don't worry so much. The author wouldn't let that happen.

Ramona: He'd better not. Anyway, hope you guys enjoyed the chapter. See you next time.


	5. Chapter Five: Alliance

Chapter Five: Alliance

(Ramona's POV)

"This is the location you picked for a dream?" Scott says, "A beach? Doesn't seem like your style."

"This coming from the guy who plays that Beach Bum game," I joke, "Besides, I didn't choose it."

"Well, works for me," he says, giving a sort of giddy grin, "The swimsuit is sexy."

"Creep," I tell him, smacking him playfully on the arm.

"Yeah, but I'm also your boyfriend," he says, "If I can't appreciate the sight of you in swimwear, who can?"

"Yeah yeah, enjoy it while it lasts," I answer, "This is only here because I needed a place that was calm and relaxing. Getting smacked around by Lucas isn't exactly a good time. You should know all about that right?"

"He didn't smack me around," Scott says indignantly, "I totally beat him."

"Only because he can never turn down a challenge." I point out.

"Hey, you better be nice to me," he says, "It's not like I _had _to fight them or anything. I could've just found a girl with less baggage."

"Oh, so now I have baggage?" I ask him, raising an eyebrow. I know he's joking with me. It's a thing he does sometimes. Sometimes I play along. As stress relievers go, these fake fights are better than nicotine.

"Well, yeah you kinda do," he says, "Do I need to remind you of the seven freak shows I had to beat up just so we could date?"

"No Scott, you don't," I tell him, "I just got a rather painful reminder, so just shut your mouth and tell me what you found out."

"Am I supposed to shut my mouth or am I supposed to tell you what I learned?" he asks, grinning at me with that dopey grin of his.

"Tell me what you learned," I tell him. Normally I would've gotten mad at that, but he did have a point.

"Not much," he admits, turning serious and shaking his head, "Someone really has it out for you though. No one knows who. Well, either that or they just won't tell me."

"This is about me?" I ask, shuddering. I'm all seriousness now. "I mean, I figured it was someone with a grudge against you, but…" My voice trails off as I'm unable to put the thought into words.

"Hey, I won't have any of that," he says, giving me the dopey grin again, "You're not responsible for the people who decide to hate you."

"Uh, yeah Scott, you kind of are," I counter, "People don't just decide to hate you. Usually you do something to cause it."

"Look, I know I'm usually kind of geeked out, but I'm being serious here," he says, "We both know that you won't last two seconds against the next ex if you're busy feeling guilty over what happened to me."

"Don't you think 'kind of geeked out' is a bit of an understatement?" I ask him, "Your entire life is like one giant awkward moment." To my surprise, he laughs.

"I'm just trying to tell you not to dwell on it," he says, "It's not like inside your dreams is a terrible place to be."

"Which brings me back to you being a creep," I tell him with a smirk.

"Hey, I am not," he says.

"You're still staring at me," I point out, "Are you a closet lecher or something Scott?"

"No…" he says, "Just thinking how cool it would be to make out with you in a dream."

"Sorry, not now," I tell him, "It would be too weird for me to do that, knowing that in the real world I'm conked out at a burger joint."

"I don't think so," he says, grinning, "I think it'd be hot."

"Shut up Scott," I tell him, laughing, "I said no."

"In that case, there's something you should do when you wake up," he says, "Find Kim. She doesn't look like it, but she can hold her own in a fight."

"Uh…Scott?" I ask him, "How will I convince her I'm not insane? It's not like I can tell her I've been talking to her dead ex-boyfriend. I'm gonna need to prove it."

"Right…" he says, seeming to panic a bit. It's good to see that I'm not the only one who's worried. "Okay, I've got it," he says, "Ask her about Simon Lee." **(A/N: Yes loyal readers, I did just make a reference to the comics. I researched some of the stuff in the books and decided that this part would be useful.) **

"Simon Lee?" I ask him, "Am I supposed to know what that means?"

"She will," he says, "It's sort of this thing between us."

"So I don't get any explanation?" I ask.

"Just trust me, will you?" he says, "Now go on. It's time for you to wake up." I'm trying to fight it already. I want to stay here with him. I don't want to wake up. Guess it's not my call, because next thing I know, I'm back on the cold concrete floor. I get to my feet as quickly as possible. Where will I find Kim now? My best guess is at her place, although rehearsing with the band is equally likely. Guess I'll try her place first. Now if I can just get my half-fried brain to remember the address. I take a deep breath and try to stay calm, but it's not easy when my head is pounding and another evil ex could be showing up any minute. They seem to have a habit of catching me off guard lately. After a few minutes, I remember that it's close by. Scott took me over here once.

The walk is pretty calm. Guess the exes have backed off for now. How considerate of them. The house is pretty nice I guess. Not that much different than other places around here though. Average. Okay, now I have to come up with a way to say this that sounds somewhat reasonable. Better just to try the truth and hope that Scott's suggestion comes in handy. I walk up to the door, bracing myself for this. I softly knock on the door, trying not to panic. I've been looking over my shoulder the whole way here. I'd hate to lead one of those freaks here. I almost laugh. Back when I dated people like Matthew or Lucas, I hardly worried about the consequences. Things change quickly, I guess.

The door opens quietly and Kim is standing in the doorway. "You're that weird girl from the cemetery," she says, "How did you know where I lived? Did you follow me home that day?"

"No," I tell her, "Scott Pilgrim brought me here once. I remembered the address."

"Scott Pilgrim?" she asks, glaring at me, "Is that supposed to be a joke?"

"It's not a joke," I tell her, "Him and I were dating."

"No you weren't," Kim says, "I know all of the people he dated. I was one of them. But you definitely weren't."

"In an alternate reality," I tell her, "One where he's still alive."

"Alternate reality, right…" she says sarcastically. Her face is sullen and her tone dull. It reminds me of the way she was when we first met. "Well I'm just going to go ahead and call some nice men in white coats, so you just wait here okay?" she says, turning around. Great, I was right. She thinks I'm insane. Hope Scott didn't give me bad info.

"Simon Lee," I call to her, causing her to freeze in place, "Scott said I should ask you about Simon Lee. Who is that?" She turns back at me with her eyes wide.

"How did you find out about that name?" she demands.

"Scott told me," I tell her, "I talked to him. His spirit, if you would call it that."

"So you're like a psychic or something?" she asks, still sounding skeptical.

"Or something," I say modestly. I can see her eyes searching mine, trying to decide whether she believes me. You learn to spot stuff like that after a while.

"Come in," she says reluctantly, stepping aside.

(Kim's POV)

She sure is a strange girl. What's up with the blue hair anyway? I mean, it works for her, but it's still strange around these parts. I don't really want to believe that she's telling the truth, but she knows about Simon Lee and I know _I _didn't tell her.

"So," she says, "You never answered me. Who's Simon Lee?" I shake my head in response.

"You first," I tell her, "Tell me what the hell kind of fairy tale you're trying to drag me into."

"It's not a fairy tale," she answers, "First thing you should know is that I lied to you when I said I didn't know Scott back at the cemetery."

"Yeah, I kinda figured that," I tell her, "I'm not stupid you know."

"Reality here isn't what it should be," she says, "In the reality I remember, I met Scott and we started dating. My seven evil exes tried to come between us, but Scott beat them. But history has been altered so that Scott died before ever meeting me."

"I'm really supposed to believe this?" I ask her, narrowing my eyes, "You haven't even told me your name yet."

"Ramona Flowers," she says, "In the true reality, you and I are friends. Well…sort of."

"Friends huh?" I ask, "Doesn't seem like me. But since only Scott could have told you about Simon Lee, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt. You really have _seven _evil exes?"

"It's kind of a long story, but yeah," she says, "They're back too. I just took out two of them before coming here."

"Why the heck did you come here?" I ask her angrily, "What if one of them follows you?"

"Scott told me that I should find you," she answers, "He said you were pretty good in a fight."

"He said that?" I ask. I'm buying into this, I realize. I must be losing my mind.

"Yeah," she says.

"Well, it's true that I can handle myself," I tell her, "So is this you asking me for help then?"

"Something like that," she tells me.

"Fine, I'm in," I say evenly.

"Just like that?" she says.

"Yeah," I answer, "I know I'm going to regret this, but I believe you."

"Thanks," she says.

"It's nothing," I tell her, "But I do have a condition: You can't stay here. As long as this is going on, the two of us are going to be somewhere else. This is my home. I won't fight any of your exes here."

"Fine," she says, "Let's go then. I don't mind using my place." There's something in her eyes when she says that that I can't define. I wonder what she's thinking.

**(What Ramona is thinking: It doesn't matter if my place is destroyed. I can always move back home.)**

"Okay," I agree, "Let's go then. Lead the way." She turns and silently heads out the door. _Weird girl, _I think, following her out.

**A/N: Okay, so not that much action in this one. More of a transition chapter. But now Ramona and Kim are working together. Anyway, stay tuned for the next chapter, which will feature a couple more Evil Ex fights. Oh, and sorry for the lack of humor in this one. Again, I'm more of a storyline writer than a comedian.**


	6. Chapter Six: Dual Match

Chapter Six: Dual Match

(Ramona's POV)

"Maybe you should tell me what's going on one more time," Kim says as we head for my place, "I mean, you didn't exactly give a lot of details here."

"It's like I said," I tell her, "I have seven evil exes. They were all people I dated and the relationships didn't end well. Now they've decided that they don't want me to date anyone else, so they've joined up to work against me. In another reality, Scott wanted to date me. Naturally, they tried to kill him, but he beat all of them. But when I woke up this morning, I tried to call Scott, but his number went to another phone. So I called Knives."

"Who?" Kim asks.

"Right, you never met her in this reality," I say out loud, "Scott dated this girl named Knives before he met me. He cheated on her with me for a while. It got kind of ugly."

"Typical Scott," Kim says, sighing and rolling her eyes, "He gets a good thing going and he screws it up."

"It worked itself out," I tell her, "Anyway, I called her and she didn't know me. But when I mentioned Scott, she remembered a news story about him and told me he'd been killed."

"Didn't it seem a little strange that she remembered a news story from three years ago?" she asks me, raising an eyebrow.

"A little," I admit, "But it doesn't matter. Knives didn't do this. Even if she was jealous of my relationship with Scott, which she isn't, she would attack me, not him."

"You sound pretty sure," Kim says, as if she doubts it.

"I am sure," I tell her.

"You said you beat two of the exes," she says, "Who's left?"

"The third is Todd Ingram," I tell her.

"Todd Ingram, the bassist from The Clash at Demonhead?" Kim says, almost sounding excited, "We get to beat him up?"

"Don't get too excited," I tell her, "He's really powerful. Anyway, the fourth one is Roxy Richter, the only girl among the evil exes. She actually had a pretty glaring weakness, but given the pattern of events so far, I'd bet that whoever changed history took care of it for her."

"You dated a girl?" Kim asks, giving me a strange look.

"It was a phase," I tell her, "But yeah. Exes five and six are Kyle and Ken Katayanagi."

"The keyboard players?" Kim asks, "That's quite a list you've got there."

"There's one more," I tell her, "The leader of the exes, Gideon Graves."

"What the heck?" she says, sounding shocked, "The band I'm in just signed a contract with him!"

"Yeah, I know," I tell her, "That happened in the other reality too, but then he died. By the way, how's Neil doing on the bass?"

"I won't even ask how you know about Neil or that he's our bass player," Kim says, "But he's doing all right. So, where are we going to find these exes of yours?"

"Don't worry. Based on my luck, they'll find us," I tell her, "But you know, you still never answered my question. Who's Simon Lee?"

"A guy that I dated in high school," Kim says, "We broke up before I met Scott. One day Scott walked in and saw Simon hugging me and he attacked him."

"Heavy," I say.

"No kidding," Kim says, "Don't make me say more though. It isn't exactly a shining moment in my past."

"Fair enough," I tell her. To be honest, I can understand how she feels. I have a lot of moments in my past I'd like to forget.

"Ramona Flowers!" a voice calls from somewhere behind me. Speaking of things I'd like to forget…

"Hello Todd," I say turning around, "Did you come here to ruin my life a little more?"

"Well, it's nice to see you too Ramona," Todd says, "And you brought a friend. How nice."

"You sure you want to do this?" I ask Kim, "It's not too late to leave."

"You came to me for help and now you're asking me if I want to run away?" Kim asks me, "In this other reality of yours, we don't know each other very well, do we?" I guess that's her way of saying she's not backing down, because she turns and glares at Todd.

"Oh come on Ramona," Todd says, "Do you really think you can beat me? Having that little pipsqueak on your side doesn't mean you can take me on."

"Pipsqueak?" Kim says angrily, "That's it! Envy had better find a new bass player, because I'm about to kick your ass!" She charges towards Todd and he gestures with one hand. Kim floats into the air and becomes suspended in place.

"I see you've still got those psychic powers going for you," I tell him.

"Thanks to you," he says cryptically.

"What do you mean 'thanks to me?'" I demand, "What do you know about this?"

"Sorry," he says, "I'd rather watch you agonize over what I could possibly mean by that."

"Why don't you just wipe me out?" I ask him, "Isn't that why you came?"

"I could," he says, "But I sorta promised Roxy she'd get a few blows in." Roxy? Oh shit. I suddenly feel a sharp pain in the back of my head and crumple to the ground.

"Hey bitch!" Roxy says angrily, forcibly rolling me over. What I see on her face shocks me. It's covered in bruises.

"Roxy," I choke out, "What happened to you?"

"Like you care. After all, I was just a phase, right? Well, if you must know, I tried to come here through subspace," she says, "Your little boy toy smacked me around. You ever battle inside subspace? It's the world's greatest rush. Too bad you'll never get the chance, bitch." Scott tried to stop her from coming after me? That makes me want to smile. He even broke his "no fighting girls" code for me. But…she's here. That means he lost. Is he…

"Oh don't worry," Todd calls to me, "He's alive, if you'd call it that."

"Not for long," Roxy says, "See, once I kill you, his last link to this reality will be gone. Then we won't have to be bothered with either of you ever again." Not good. I can't let Roxy kill me. Not if I ever want to see Scott again. "Oh, and in case you were thinking of exploiting that weakness of mine, don't bother. I had that fixed. "

"No worries. I'll just kick your ass the old fashioned way." I say, shoving her off me, "I can't allow myself to lose to you."

"There's nothing you can do to stop me," she says, "You haven't even got a weapon."

"Of course I do," I tell her, calling the Power of Love out again, "A little gift from Scott."

"Not bad," she says, "But that doesn't mean you can win. You have no idea what kind of power you're dealing with." She charges towards me again and I suddenly feel a sharp pain in my gut. She's fast. A hell of a lot faster than normal. I'm gasping for breath. How am I going to fight back like this?

"Come on!" Roxy challenges me, "Put up a fight!" Another blow to the face. "Come on, bitch!" she says, "This is all you've got? Too bad. I was hoping to have a little fun."

"Well why don't you try this?" Kim's voice says and Roxie suddenly falls to the ground. Kim is standing behind her with one fist stretched out. "You okay?" she asks me.

"Been better," I tell her, trying to stay on my feet. I hold my sword with what strength I can manage and plunge it through Roxy's back, causing her to burst into a pile of small animals. "Who's the bitch now, Roxy?" I say before stumbling a bit.

"She really did a number on you," Kim says, "Maybe you should rest."

"I'm okay," I say, shaking my head, "Let's keep moving."

"At least let me help you," she says, "Wouldn't want you to collapse." It's strange hearing the note of concern in her voice. Guess sometimes people can surprise you.

"Okay," I agree. It's a little awkward since I'm taller than her, but I manage to lean on her as we head for my place. "So how did you get away from Todd anyway?"

"I'm not sure," Kim says, "While he had me pinned there, I got hungry. I couldn't stop thinking about how I could go for some steak. He freaked out and started crying, then burst into a pile of coins. It was really weird. What the heck happened?"

"I think I get it," I tell her, "See, Todd's a vegan and as a vegan, he has these incredible psychic powers. He can attack people, move objects with his mind and even read thoughts. But the person who changed history has been enhancing the powers of the exes. I think Todd's mind reading was so strong that he couldn't turn it off. While you were thinking about steak, he could hear every minute of it, maybe even taste it. You must have mentally tortured him to death."

"Wow," Kim says, "Not the ass-kicking I had in mind, but still pretty satisfying."

"Yeah I guess," I tell her, "Well, let me go treat you to steak. After all, it was your steak craving that saved us. Seems like a fitting celebration."

"Count me in," Kim says, grinning.

(Kim's POV)

"So how'd this all happen anyway?" I ask Ramona between bites of steak, "How does someone rack up a grand total of seven evil exes?"

"It's a part of my laugh I'd really rather not go over," Ramona answers.

"Too bad," I tell her, "Look, I think we both know that could have ended a lot worse than it did. If you want me to keep involving myself, the going rate is the truth. Tell me what happened."

"You really don't wanna know this stuff," she says

"Let me decide what I want," I tell her, "Just tell me."

"I don't know why you care so much, but fine," she answers, "It's mostly my fault. Back in high school I was kind of a bitch. I dated a lot of people out of convenience or just of curiosity, like Roxy. I broke every one of their hearts." She stares down at her feet, seeming to regret it. "I came here to forget all that crap," she says, "But the crap followed me here. Gideon was really pissed off about our breakup and he tracked down the other exes and they've all conspired against me since then. Anyone who's tried to date me has been attacked by them. Scott was the only one to beat all of them."

"I see," I tell her. Heavy stuff. I can't imagine ever having to handle something like that. "Answer one more question and I'll consider you paid up."

"Fire away," she answers.

"You said you talked to Scott," I tell her, "Is he all right?"

"He's fine as far as I know," she says, "He's trapped in a place called Subspace. The full explanation is a little complicated, but there's basically this other space that interacts with our own. Ordinary people can't see it, but some people, like me, can enter it, travel through it, and even store stuff in it. Which reminds me, take this." She reaches into her bag and produces what looks like a giant hammer. "You might want a weapon for our next fight," she tells me, handing it in my direction, "Based on the pattern of events, the next two to attack will be the Katayanagi twins."

"Maybe we can go to them first," I say, grinning, "I know where they're going to be."

"Seriously?" she asks.

"Yep," I tell her, "They're opening for us at the Chaos Theatre tonight."

"Gideon's nightclub," she muses, "Good, I can finish this."

"Yeah, I guess that's one way of looking at it," I say, "Where did you get this hammer anyway?"

"From subspace," she says and leaves it at that. Guess she doesn't want to say more. "Hey, do you want to go see Scott?" she asks suddenly.

"Can I do that?" I ask her.

"There's a subspace door near here," she answers, "We can use it to travel to the Chaos Theatre and I'm guessing that we should find Scott somewhere along the way."

"Guessing?" I ask, raising an eyebrow.

"Well I can't tell exactly where he'll be," she answers, "But I think it's a pretty good bet that he'll appear somewhere near me."

"You'll have to explain that later, but yeah, let's go," I say. I'm slightly excited at the thought of being able to see him.

"One warning," she says, "Don't wander off in there. If you get separated from me, you may end up trapped."

"No wandering off," I say, "Got it. Now let's go already."

"Take my hand," she says, holding it out. "And brace yourself." I nod, take a deep breath, and grab on to her hand. She leads me out of the restaurant and to an alley. With her free hand, she reaches out as if grasping an invisible door knob. She makes a turning motion and pulls off her hand back. The next thing I can see is a blindingly bright light, which forces me to shield my eyes with my own free hand.

(The culprit's POV)

So you're coming to the Chaos Theatre, Ramona. That suits me just fine. The final stage. So many questions to be answered, but they'll all be resolved in this one location. Will you overcome the challenge, or will it destroy you? Will you find me at the end of it? Will you choose this version of history or the other? It's fitting that we should learn the answers to these questions all in one place, since they're all connected to one person. See you soon, Ramona.

**The whole scene fades to black. Ramona, Kim, and Todd appear. Oh, and JMFearless.**

Ramona: Damn Fearless, you're giving me the chills. I'm not sure I want to read the ending.

Kim: I do. I can't stop reading.

JMFearless: Thank you Kim. And thank you Ramona. A good suspense writer always hopes he can inspire a little chill in some people.

Todd: Hey, what the hell was with that fight? First of all, all I got to do was use a little telekinesis and read a couple of minds. Secondly, I really died because fatass here got a craving for steak?

Kim: Hey! Don't call me "fatass!" I'm only of average weight!

Todd: I can call you fatass if I want to! I'm a rockstar!

Kim: Oh really? Well let's throw down then rockstar!

Ramona: Uh…Kim, maybe you shouldn't… *Kim and Todd begin to fight* Never mind. Anyway, hope everyone enjoyed the chapter. See you in the next one.


	7. Chapter Seven: Rock and Roll Rumble

**A mysterious voice descends from the heavens.**

Ramona: What? I thought we were rid of this guy four or five chapters ago!

Voice: Mr. Fearless wanted me to convey a message to his readers.

Ramona: Fine. Do it and get lost.

Voice: Mr. Fearless wishes to apologize for the previously less than spectacular fight scenes. He makes no excuses for them, but encourages those who read to continue doing so. He'll be trying his best to make sure that the remaining fight scenes do not disappoint. Now then, as you were.

**The voice vanishes.**

Ramona: Thank you. Now, without further ado, Chapter Seven.

Chapter Seven: Rock and Roll Rumble

(Ramona's POV)

"This place is kind of freaky," Kim remarks as we walk.

"Understatement of the century," I tell her, "But yes, it does take some getting used to."

"Won't be a problem for me, because I don't plan on visiting here again," she says, "This place gives me the creeps."

"Don't worry," I tell her, "As long as you're with me, you're safe." I paused for a moment, and then decided to call out to Scott. "Scott, are you here?" I asked out loud.

"Always," he says, walking up next to me. He takes one look at Kim and looks like he's about to pass out. "Kim? How did you get here? Do you have superpowers now?" He gives one of his trademark geek grins.

"Scott," I say rolling my eyes, "We've been over this. I can bring people in and out of subspace with me."

"Wipe the stupid grin off your face Scott," Kim says, laughing.

"Yep, she's just like I remember," Scott says.

"But you're not," Kim says, scanning him closely, "You're older for one thing. What's up with that?"

"That's…kind of hard to explain," Scott says, "But in the simplest terms possible, my link to this place is Ramona's memory. I look the way I do in the reality that Ramona remembers."

"So that's what you grow up to look like?" Kim says, nodding approvingly, "Not bad."

"Hey, he's mine," I say defensively.

"Oh relax Ramona, I'm only kidding," Kim says. **(Text Box: No she's not. Kim: Shut up, I am too.)**

"Are you guys fighting over me?" Scott asks eagerly.

"Shut up Scott!" Kim and I say in unison, followed by us both smacking him in the back of the head.

"Ow," Scott complained, "If you guys aren't nice to me, I may not share what I found out."

"Oh come on Scott," I tell him, giving him a playful shove.

"Fine," he says, pouting a little, "There's a lot of chatter about the Chaos Theatre. There's something powerful there. Something even stronger than any of the exes. I'd bet anything it's the same being that changed history on us, but I haven't been able to learn its name. Anyone I talk to just calls it "her."

"So it's female," Kim says, "Wonderful. That only narrows it down to roughly half the population."

"Well we're going to the Chaos Theatre anyway," I tell her, "I'm sure we'll be meeting whatever this thing is when we go there."

"Hey Scott, are you doing okay in here?" Kim asks, "I mean, you look kind of beat up."

"I got messed up trying to keep Roxy from getting to you guys," he said, "She won. But don't worry about me. Apparently, you recover pretty quickly in here."

"Wow, I never knew that," Ramona said.

"How could someone who's used this so often not know something like that?" Scott asks, laughing.

"Shut up," I say defensively, "I've never spent a lot of time in here. I normally just used it to travel from one place to another. And I've never gone in while I was injured either."

"Fair enough," Scott says, "Shouldn't you two get going? You have to get there in time for the show, right?"

"You're sure well informed," Kim observes.

"Consequence of being trapped in Ramona's head," Scott pointed out, "I know everything that goes through her head as soon as she does."

"Creepy," I tell him, "It's like having a psychic stalker."

"It isn't like that at all," Scott counters defensively, "It's not like I choose to be here. I mean, I'm kinda stuck here remember?"

"Relax Scott," I tell him, "I'm only messing with you."

"Right," he says, "You two had better be careful there. Whoever is at the end of this is even worse than Gideon." I shudder at the very thought of that. Someone worse than Gideon? That's a terrifying prospect.

"Okay, we'll be careful," Kim says, "Thanks Scott and take care of yourself."

"See you Scott," I walk over to him and give him a full on kiss on the lips, "I'm gonna bust you out of here."

"Can't wait," he says with an expectant look on his face.

"You really can't come with us?" Kim asks.

"Sorry," Scott said, "I want to, but I'm not part of this reality. Leaving was the first thing I tried to do once I got in here. Until the true timeline is restored, I'm trapped like a rat. It sucks." He pouted a little.

"We'll make it right," Kim says confidently.

"I wish I could be as sure as you," I tell her, "You guys ever hear of the Chinese curse?"

"I have," Kim says, "'May you live in interesting times', right?"

"I've never heard that before," Scott says, "Well, these are definitely interesting times,"

"It was meant to mean that boring times are good and the most interesting ones are when bad things are happening to you. That's why it's a curse," I explain for Scott's benefit, "I'm a little more worried about the second part."

"Huh?" Scott asks, "Why? What's the second part?" (**Text Box: Scott=poorly read**)

"'May you find what you're looking for'" I fill him in, "That part bugs me. Like, what if I get to the end of this and I don't like what I find?"

"What makes you think that'll happen?" Scott asks.

"I don't know," I tell him, "Just a bad feeling. But this is our door. Guess there's no time to dwell on bad feelings."

"See you again in the real world, Scott," Kim says. I nod to her and we head through the door. Sure enough, the Chaos Theatre stands before us in all its glory.

"Here we are," I comment, "Headquarters of the most evil son of a bitch

"This place is just like Gideon himself," Kim said, "Smug and showy. If it weren't for our contract, I'd avoid this place like the plague." We start heading for the entrance only to have the first guard stop us.

"Password?" the guard asks.

"Go to hell," I tell him, shoving him out of the way and causing him to burst into a pile of coins. I'm in no mood to put up with Gideon's creeps today. I came for the rest of the exes.

"Second password," one of the two elevator guards says. Kim and I immediately respond by grabbing each of them and smacking them into each other. Two more coin piles. The elevator takes us down to the main floor in a matter of minutes.

"Ladies and gentlemen," Gideon calls from his usual position, "It would appear that the final member of Sex Bob-omb has finally graced us with her presence. And she brought a very special guest. Allow me to introduce my ex-girlfriend, Ramona Flowers. Ramona, so nice to see you again."

"Burn in hell, Gideon," I yell back, "I'm only here on business. Where are the Katayanagi twins?"

"So serious," Gideon comments, "Don't worry, they're here. They've been waiting for you. Of course, I wanted to just fight you myself, but they wouldn't be denied their shot at vengeance."

"Do you actually have a plan to fight them?" Kim whispers to me.

"Their power comes from their music," I tell her back, "If I can fight them back with some music of my own, I think I can beat them. You wouldn't happen to have a spare mic, would you?"

"I see where you're going with this," she says, "Gideon! Sex Bob-omb challenges the Katayanagi twins to a battle of rock and roll. A rematch of our Battle of the Bands showdown."**(A/N: Yeah, that still happened in the altered reality, it just wasn't the same as it was in the film.)**

"Sounds like a good time," Gideon says, "But what do you say we make things interesting? If Sex Bob-omb loses, I terminate your contract and sign the Katayanagi twins instead. You go back to the pit of anonymity you call your lives and Ramona must give up her mission to save Scott Pilgrim."

"No," I whisper to her, "You can't put the future of your band at risk over my personal problems. I'll find another way to handle the Katayanagis."

"It's my personal problem too," she counters, "Scott is gone and if we do this, we can get him back."

"Are you sure?" I ask her.

"Yes," she says, "And I know the other members would back me up on this. Scott and Stephen go way back. They were in another band together. And Neil wouldn't go against the band. So yeah, I'm sure."

"Fine," I say and then turn to face Gideon, "If Sex Bob-omb wins, you tell me how I can restore the original reality."

"That seems like a fair agreement to me," Gideon says, "Do the Katayanagi twins agree to the challenge?" Two spotlights shine down on the twins, making them easily visible compared to the rest of the audience.

"Hai!" Ken and Kyle answer in unison, sadistic grins flashing across their faces. **(Text Box: That's "yes", for those of you who are Japanese-impaired.)**

"Then we have ourselves a competition," Gideon says, "Set up your stages and come out with your amps blazing."

"Oh, there's one more thing," I tell Gideon, "For this battle only, I'll be joining Sex Bob-omb as a guest."

"Fine, fine," Gideon says dismissively, "Let's just get on with it."

"So what are we going to play anyway?" Kim asks as we head backstage to prepare.

"You know any Nickelback?" I ask her.

"We're from Canada," she says, "Of course we know Nickelback. Let's do this!"

**(Skipping the dull setup bits) **

"All right," Gideon says, "Let's begin then, shall we?" The twins are glaring at me, their eyes looking more vicious than I've ever seen before.

"Just how bad _was _your breakup?" Kim asks me, "Because they look pretty pissed off."

"Well…I sort of dated each of them without the other one knowing," I tell her, "It didn't end well when they found out." Kim's giving me a shocked look. "Look, I know it was dumb," I tell her, "But I can't go back and change it now, so let's just do this okay?"  
"Is Sex Bob-omb done chattering amongst themselves," Gideon interjects, "I believe the Katayanagi twins are ready to begin." The twins crank up the dials on their keyboards and begin to play. A familiar light rises up from the keys, forming into one of the ugliest monsters I've ever seen. This is even worse than the one they called against Scott.

"What the hell is that?" Kim asks, shocked.

"I told you, their music has power," I say, "Ready to fire back?"

"Oh yeah," Kim says, then calls louder, "We are Sex Bob-omb! We're here to cover this rock song and kick your keyboard playing asses! One, Two, Three, Four!" The guitars start playing the familiar riffs to Nickelback's song "Hollywood." I take a deep breath and grab the mic, beginning to sing my heart out.

"Please don't be too long while you're gone, there ain't enough to keep me here too long. Not like the

last time I stood in line, just enough to keep me bouncing of the walls." With the mic turned up to the

highest volume, the sound of my voice echoes through the Chaos Theatre. My body starts to feel

charged up. So this is what performing feels like. "A new day, a new tray comes around, pills and all enough to kill him while he sleeps. Is this the alley we drag him too, just off of Hollywood and Normandy." I'm feeling even more energized now. In fact, bolts of electricity are starting to crackle through my body and lance out at the monster. Guess my music has power too. I signal Kim and the others to play louder. "If it worked like she said it would, just like living in Hollywood, just like a bad dream or so it seems, just like I'm back in emergency." I repeat the chorus again, just like in the original. The bolts are getting stronger as I start feeling pumped up. The last part of the song is to repeat the first verse and the chorus again, so here it goes. "Please don't be too long while you're gone, there ain't enough to keep me here too long, not like the last time I stood in line, just enough to keep me bouncing off the walls." I rattle off the chorus a couple of times. As I finish off the song, the energy bolts reach maximum power, slamming into the Katayanagis' monster, which is charging towards us as the Katayanagis continue to play their keyboards. They're still as strong as I remember, but Sex Bob-omb is stronger. The bolts fly towards the monster, ripping into it until it falls apart.

"Nice work," I tell the others, "That was so awesome."

"Don't celebrate just yet," Kim says, "Look. The twins are still standing."

"I'm okay with that," I tell her, "I could rock out all night." It's true too. The energy from the song is still

surging through my body. I feel charged up and then a giant bolt of lightning strikes my hands, forming

into a massive electric guitar.

**An electronic gaming voice speaks: **"Ramona rocked out. She earned the power of rock and roll."

"Well now, that is an interesting development," Gideon says from the sideline.

"Ni Kai!" Kyle declares angrily. (**Text Box: "Round Two." "Kai" is a counter for times, occurrences, rounds, or events. "Ni" means "Two.")**

"Round two indeed," Gideon says with a smug smile. I notice that the Katayanagi twins are turning up their keyboard even higher.

"Kim," I say, "Can you hook this guitar up to one of the amps?"

"Yeah," she says, "What are you gonna do?"

"What do you think?" I ask her, "I'm gonna blow them away!" Kim moves quickly to hook up the guitar, but the Katayanagis are already starting to play. A new creature is appearing, one even more massive than the last one. "Kim, now would be a really good time!" I tell her.

"Got it!" she says, "Play that thing a couple of riffs!" I grab the guitar from her and place my fingers carefully before strumming away. I've never done this before, but for some reason it comes naturally. Must be a property of the guitar. Fire starts to shoot out from the strings, coalescing into some kind of shape. I keep playing, going even faster this time. The flames eventually form into a creature almost as massive as the one summoned by the twins.

"Whoa," Neil comments, "She rocks."

"Thank you for that insightful commentary, Neil," Kim says sarcastically, staring at the flame creature, "It's not strong enough."

"Turn up the amp as high as it can go," I tell her. She nods and cranks the dial on the amp. The flame creature becomes larger, completely enveloping the opposing creature and spreading to the Katayanagi twins. The last sound I hear is their dual screams as the fire surrounds them. The flames burn until I cut the guitar, causing the creature to disappear as abruptly as it came. A pile of silver coins is leftover where the Katayanagis were.

"Bravo," Gideon says, slowly clapping his hands together, "Well done, Sex Bob-omb. What a performance. Wasn't that a great performance, ladies and gentlemen?" A chorus of cheers and "woohoos" echoes through the crowd.

"Don't forget our deal," I tell him

"Of course I wouldn't forget," he says, "I'll tell you how you can save your precious little Scott. It's really quite simple. The person who changed history is somewhere in my club. All you have to do is find her?"

"Who is she?" I demand.

"Now now Ramona," he says with a smug grin, "That information wasn't part of our agreement."

"Then we'll have a new agreement," I tell him glaring, "When I kick your ass, you'll tell me who I'm looking for."

**A/N: I think that I will end the chapter right there. I know it probably seems like a strange place, but I want the fight between Gideon and Ramona to have a chapter all to itself, just like this one did. Oh, and the song she sings is "Hollywood" by Nickelback. All credit for it goes to them. Don't sue me xD. Anyway, hope you enjoyed the chapter. Especially the fight scene. I worked hard on that. See you next time.**


	8. Chapter Eight: Max Power Showdown

Chapter Eight: Max Power Showdown

(Ramona's POV)

"Come on Ramona," Gideon says mockingly, "Do you really believe that you can defeat me?"

"Yeah," I tell him, "Actually I do."

"Now Ramona," Gideon says, "I really don't find this situation enjoyable. I mean, Scott Pilgrim is nothing but a no account loser, whereas I am a man of wealth and taste. Class, if you will. Now, why on earth would you want to fight someone like to save someone like him?"

"There are two answers to that," I tell him, "One, Scott and I love each other, not that I expect you to understand that. Two, you're an asshole and I've been looking forward to ripping you apart with my own two hands!" After I say this, a second sword bursts through my chest.

**Electronic voice: Ramona gained the Dual Wield ability and earned The Power of Self-Respect. **

"Well," I say pulling the sword out of my chest with my free hand and holding it, "Now we're having a party."

"Having two weapons won't make you a match for me," Gideon taunts, "You can't handle me Ramona. Don't you know who I am? I'm the cutting edge. I'm hip. I'm…"

"You're boring me to tears," I say, cutting him off, "Can we just fight already?"

"Ramona, you have no idea who you're dealing with," he warns me.

"Yeah I do," I tell him, "I'm dealing with a sniveling little creep who can't get over the fact that he got dumped…and who runs an ugly and pretentious nightclub."

"Very well, I agree to your terms. And since I'm such an agreeable guy, I won't make you spend any more time in a place you hate so much," he says, "Goodbye, Ramona." He raises one hand and a fireball rushes at me. I'm barely able to dodge out of the way.

"Was that Matthew's…?" I ask, shocked.

"Surprised?" he asks, "You defeated the other exes and now their powers are MINE! I am the ultimate Evil Ex!" Damn! This is not good. "Oh no Ramona," Gideon gloats, "It's a lot worse than that." Damn it, he can read my mind too. I have to keep my thoughts guarded. Think of something else, _anything else. _"There's nothing you can hide from me," he says, "I see everything about you." He snaps his fingers and an army of clones appears by his side. "I'm really going to enjoy this," one of them says. Each one summons up a fireball and sends them flying at me simultaneously. Movingly quickly, I slash with both swords, quickly blocking the fireballs as they head for me. I get burned a couple of times, but I manage to avoid any serious damage. "You're putting up one hell of a fight," Gideon comments, "I haven't had this much fun since _he _came along."

"Enjoy it while it lasts, you freak," I say, "I promise I'll kill you!"

"Doubtful," he counters. Several clones charge toward me quickly. Damn, they have Roxy's speed too. They're on me in seconds, but I manage to get in a few blows with the two swords, wiping out five of them. I miss the last one and he gets behind me, grabbing me and pinning me in place

"I win," the original laughs charging up a pair of fireballs, "I always win!"

"Grab some Pine, Gideon!" Kim's voice yells as she charges toward him and whacks him with the Subspace Hammer. Gideon goes sprawling to the ground and all of the clones disappear, including the one holding me. Not sure why that happened, but I'm not one to look a gift horse in the mouth.

"You okay?" Kim asks me.

"Yeah," I tell her, "Thanks for that. But what was up with the baseball pun?"

"I uh…couldn't resist," she says with a small smile, "It sounded so cool in my head."

"I hate to interrupt this little chat session," Gideon says, "But I believe we were fighting. You know, Kimberly, it isn't polite to interrupt someone while they're killing their bitch of an ex."

"Go to hell," Kim says, "Do I look like I'm in a mood to be polite? Besides, if Ramona wins, we get Scott back."

"That's right," he says, "If _Ramona _wins. So stay out of it."

"Hey," I tell him, shrugging, "Her staying out of it wasn't part of our agreement. The only agreement we had was that I would be the one to beat you."

"Fine," he says with a wicked smile, "Have it your way, Ramona." He aims a volley of fireballs directly at Kim. I'm caught off guard and Kim takes the full blast, flying backwards into the wall.

"Kim!" I scream, hurrying to her side.

"You're the one who brought her into this Ramona," Gideon taunts, "It's entirely your fault. Just like always."

"I'm okay," Kim grunts, "It hurt like hell, but I'll live. I'm not as weak as I look. Just go and kick his ass."

"GIDEON!" I scream at him, "Prepare to die, you bastard!"

"You can't fight me!" he yells, "I can see every thought you'll ever have." I wonder if there's a way I can block him out. I have one idea, so I hope this works. I think about Scott, pushing all other thoughts out. If I can keep thinking about him while I fight Gideon, maybe I can keep him from seeing my next move.

"Why do you keep thinking about him?" Gideon asks angrily, "What can Scott Pilgrim offer you that I can't give seven times more of?"

"Are you not hearing me?" I ask him, charging at him and slashing him with both swords, "I don't care about you or what you have to offer! Scott and I love each other! I don't want anything to do with you!"

"So that's how it is then," he says, "Too bad. This'll be such a waste of a beautiful girl." He turns on the full power of his fire ability, causing his skin to become coated in flames. He dashes towards me using Roxy's speed and I'm barely able to block the blow. "Come on Ramona," he says, "Surely you can put up a better fight than that. I'm not even having any fun."

"That's too bad," I tell him, rolling my eyes, "Because you know, I live to be a tool for your amusement." I charge in his direction, preparing the swords again but he stops me with Todd's telekinesis. Damn it, now I can't move.

"You know Ramona, I think I want to do something poetic," he says, "You ripped out my heart, so I'm gonna rip out yours." He glares at me and the two swords burst from my hands and fly to him.

"There goes your Love _and _your Self-Respect," he says with a mocking laugh, "Let's see what you are without them."

"Still more than you," I tell him.

"Shut up bitch," he says, stabbing the Power of Love into my chest, causing me to scream in pain. "That's right," he says, "Scream!" He stabs me again, this time with the Power of Self-Respect, causing another shriek of pain. "You were a fool Ramona," he says, "Thinking that you could ever put up a fight against me. Goodbye." He drops me to the ground, leaving me there to bleed to death. I guess I failed Scott, but at least I'll get to see him.

"Oh, I rather doubt that," Gideon comments, "Scott's a generally good guy. At worst, he'll be stuck in subspace for eternity, but at best, he'll enjoy a nice pleasant afterlife. Manipulative bitch like you on the other hand, I'd imagine that you'll be heading in the other direction." Sad as it makes to admit it, I realize he's probably right. I haven't done much in my life to deserve a happy death.

"Why are you giving up?" Scott's voice says in my head, "Why don't you fight back?"

"I can't win," I tell him, "He's too powerful for me. I'm scared Scott."

"I know you are," he says, "You think I wasn't scared when I faced him? But you need to fight him."

"I'm sorry," I tell him, "I've failed you Scott. I'm not strong enough to save you."

"Don't apologize yet," he says, "If you're running out of strength, then take mine."

"No Scott," I tell him, "If you give up your energy, then you'll fade away. I'd rather be dead than have you die for me."

"But if you win and you find the person responsible for changing history, then everything will go back to normal right?" he says, "Then I won't be gone." Surprisingly, I realize that Scott's right. If this is enough to win, then I can bring him back even if he fades away in this reality. "Okay, let's do this," I tell him. I feel a warm energy suffusing through my body. This is Scott's energy? It feels kind of nice.

**Electronic voice: Ramona and Scott merged energies. Ramona's injuries were healed. Ramona gained the Eleventh Hour Superpower.**

I feel really strong. Invincible even, like nothing can harm me. "Gideon!" I call to him, "We're not done here yet." He turns around, gasping.

"So much power," he says, "Where did you get that kind of strength?"

"You wouldn't understand," I tell him, "Now let's end this." I charge towards him with reckless abandon. He attempts to stop me with Todd's telekinesis, but I'm able to charge through completely unaffected. I deliver a blow to each of his hands, knocking away the swords. I lay both hands on his chest. "Goodbye Gideon," I tell him before sending a massive pulse of energy through him. He falls to the ground, convulsing violently. I've kept him alive so he can keep his agreement, but I think I can safely say that I won this one. When I know for sure that he isn't getting back up, I hurry over to Kim, who is now unconscious. She's still pretty banged up from Gideon's attack. Breathing slowly, I place both hands gently on her shoulders and close my eyes. I take what's left of Scott's energy and pump it into Kim, healing the damage Gideon did. I know Scott would want me to save her. She wakes up almost instantly and looks up at me.

"Did you win?" she asks.

"Took a while, but yeah," I tell her, helping her up, "You all right?"

"Never better," she says, "So where is he?"

"Over there," I tell her, "Let's go get him awake so he can keep his deal." Kim smiles a little and heads over to Gideon and kicks him sharply in the side. He wakes up, groaning.

"Time to keep your end of the bargain," she tells him, "Ramona won, so you have to tell her where the person who changed history is."

"You'll never beat her," he chokes out. Kim has him pinned to the ground with one foot.

"You said she was in the club," I tell him, "Which person is she?" He shakily raises one finger and points. I cast my eyes in that direction and gasp in shock. It can't be…no way!

**The scene freezes. Ramona and JMFearless appear.**

Ramona: Well all right Fearless, a good old fashioned cliff-hanger. Guess the readers will have to wait till next time to find out who it is.

JMFearless: Yep, cause that's how I operate. *grin*

Ramona: I hope you guys are as shocked as I was. Anyway, see you next time.


	9. Chapter Nine: Reflection

Chapter Nine: Reflection

(Ramona's POV)

A mirror. Gideon is pointing to a mirror. Well, mirrored surface is more accurate, but the implication is the same. The line of his finger is pointing to my reflection. He's saying I'm the one who eliminated Scott.

"No!" I yell at him, "I don't believe you! Tell me the truth!"

"It is the truth, Ramona," he says, "This situation is entirely your creation."

"I'm not hearing this," I say, delivering a sharp kick to his stomach. He bursts slowly into a pile of coins, laughing as he does so.

"Ramona," Kim says, tugging at my arm. I turn around and gasp, looking at the mirror. A dark shaded figure is stepping out of it.

"Come on Ramona," the figure says derisively, "I thought you were looking forward to killing Gideon? Isn't that what you said? So why aren't you happy?"

"I…I've seen something like you before," I tell the figure, "You're like what Scott had. My other self. NegaRamona."

"Hahahaha," the figure says, "That's what you want to call me? That sounds kind of lame, don't you think? Well, it's only a name I suppose. Yes, I am like the creature that you call NegaScott, but with one glaring difference. You won't win me over by inviting me to brunch with you. I'm angry with you. You've been running away from me."

"What is going on?" I demand of her, "Why is history warped? Why did you eliminate Scott?"

"Oh come on," she answers, "I'd think would be obvious. I mean, you and I are two halves of the same whole. If I know the answer, you should too."

"But I don't," I tell her.

"I guess I'll have to spell it out for you," she says, "I'm every negative thought you've ever had. Your guilty feelings, your malicious thoughts, every one of your sad little mental diatribes. I was born from all of them. I remember how you decided to manipulate each of the exes in turn, how you decided to leave them when you didn't need them anymore. You _were_ a little bitch back then, weren't you?"

"Shut up!" I yell at her, "I'm not like that anymore."

"No, now you have a conscience," she agrees, "Not that it makes you any better than before. See, in addition to all of those things, I remember what you were thinking after your last date with Scott ended. That was a good night. You had a bit of a headache, but you enjoyed yourself. It wasn't until you walked home that the guilt came back to you. You felt guilty that you had dragged a nice guy like Scott into the sorry spectacle you called your life. You felt bad that you used him to defeat your exes for you."

'Th…that's not true," I stammer fearfully, "I didn't use him."

"You reached out to him," she presses, "You believed he could defeat them and you entered his mind, hoping he would fall for you. You used him just like the others. Except that this wasn't like the others at all, was it? This time, you felt bad about it. And that day, as you walked home from your date, you wished that you had never gotten him involved."

"N…no," I stammer, "I didn't want this. I never wanted him to die."

"That secret wish that you made gave me power," she tells me, "And then I had the perfect way to use it. I granted your wish, creating a reality where Scott died before he ever met you. Then I gave the revived exes enhanced powers and sent them after you. I instructed them not to tell you about me because I wanted you to chase me down yourself. Well, that and it was immensely fun to watch. With each fight, you became more enraged and desperate, which brought you closer to me. It was glorious. Instead of running away from me, you were desperate to find me. All you needed was the right motivation."

"I can't listen to this anymore," I say, turning and bolting for the door. Before I can get there, a hand grabs me from behind and stops me.

"What do you think you're doing?" Kim's voice asks me.

"I killed Scott, Kim!" I tell her in an anguished voice, "It's my fault he's dead!" Tears are streaming down from my eyes now.

"So you're just going to run away?" she says, "You have to go back there and save Scott!" Her voice is more forceful now than I've ever heard it.

"I can't save him," I say, "Look, I'm sorry I brought you this far for nothing, but that thing is way too powerful for me." I pull myself out of her grip and head for the door again.

"You're a coward, you know that?" she says.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I yell at her.

"Just what it sounds like," she says, "You're nothing but a coward. You ran away from the exes when you lived in New York, but you weren't just running from them. You were running from the painful reminder of the person you were before. That's why you came here. And now you're going to run away again. Only a coward can't face up to their problems Ramona!"

"What the hell do you know?" I ask fiercely, "You don't know the first thing about me! Now just let me go. I'll find somewhere where no one can be hurt by me."

"You're wrong," she says, "I do know the first thing about you. I know that you've been running away from yourself for your entire life. I also know that if you run away now, you'll keep doing it for the rest of your life too."

"No!" I exclaim, "I'll find somewhere that's safe from her."

"There _isn't_ anywhere like that," she says, "That thing will follow you wherever you go. You'll never be free."

"Did you by any chance miss that little conversation back there?" I ask her, "I'm a killer. My stupid little guilt trip killed Scott. I don't deserve to be free."

"You made a mistake," Kim says, "You think Scott never made any mistakes? He made plenty. The blunder with Simon Lee barely even scratches the surface. But Scott managed to face up to his. Now it's your turn. Or did Scott just waste his energy on you?"

"What?" I ask, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"I saw Scott when I was passed out." Kim says, "He poured his life force into you, didn't he? That's how you beat Gideon."

"Yeah it is," I admit brokenly.

"Guess that was a waste huh?" Kim asks, "Because here he is, sacrificing himself to help you out and you're running away and bailing on him. You're the most spineless, pathetic person I've ever met."

"I'm not pathetic!" I yell at her, "Don't call me that!"

"Then go over there and prove me wrong!" she answers back. I know in my heart that everything she's saying is true, I just don't want it to be. I don't want to be a coward anymore. I guess Kim has this one right. I have to go back. I sigh and turn around, walking towards NegaRamona.

"I'm sorry," I tell her, "I'm sorry that I ignored you. I'm sorry for running away."

"Well, that's a start," she says, "But there is one more thing that I want you to do. I want you to tell the truth. Make an unabashed admission of what I represent." I don't know how I'm supposed to do that, but here it goes. I take a deep breath and turn to face her, looking her in the eye.

"You're…"

"No no Ramona," she says, "I _know_ what I am. Don't tell me. Tell them." She gestures at the patrons of the club, who have been staring at this whole thing like it's the latest in entertainment, the freaks. I can't believe I have to do this, but I sigh and turn towards the club.

"My name is Ramona Flowers," I tell the crowd, "You've probably heard of me, through rumors if nothing else. The biggest thing you've probably never heard is that I've got seven evil exes. At least, that's the story I've always told. But the truth is, I'm really more evil than all of them. I got together with each one for my own reasons and bailed on them when I didn't need them anymore. They're evil, but only because I made them that way. I gave them the reason to be what they are. And now because of what I did to them, they're all dead. Some of them deserved it, like Gideon. Others didn't. But either way, the point is that, contrary to whatever you might have heard, I created my own misery. Everything that this creature here has said about me is true. I'm a self-centered bitch who uses people and then tries to run away from it. These are my sins."

"Very good Ramona," NegaRamona says, "I'm impressed. I didn't really think you'd be able to say it."

"Then why did you ask me to?" I ask her, "Why did it matter whether or not a bunch of club-goers knew the truth about me?"

"Ramona, Ramona, Ramona," she says, "It wasn't about them, it was about you. I wanted to see if you had the guts to admit the truth. Well done."

"Um…thanks," I say, "So what happens now?"

"Now we become one, like we should be," she says, moving towards me and merging with me, fading from sight. I can still feel her, somewhere in the deep reaches of my heart. I thought it would be painful somehow, but it isn't. It feels…peaceful, like a release or something. Yeah, that's the word.

"You okay?" Kim asks me.

"Yeah, I think so," I tell her, smiling, "Thanks by the way. You give one hell of a pep talk."

"Yeah, I kind of surprised myself," she says laughing, "Maybe we really _are_ friends."

"Well, I guess I should go see about getting Scott back," I say, "See you around Kim."

"Hey uh…I don't usually say this," she says, "But…"

"If you're about to apologize for calling me a coward, don't bother," I tell her, "I think I really needed that. Someone had to talk some sense into me. So thanks."

"It was nothing," she says. I close my eyes and search for my newly acquired inner self.

"_Can you hear me?" _I ask her.

"_Of course_," she says, _"I'm part of you now." _

"_How do I get Scott back?" _I ask her.

"_Use this subspace door," _she says. I didn't see one before, but now I can see it clear as day. Concentrating, I step through it and find myself in a dark, void-like area. A single, unadorned black door is there, barely visible against the blackness that surrounds me.

"_That door represents your hidden wish," _she tells me, _"If it really is your heart's desire to return to the reality you remember, then that will happen." _

"_And the others?" _I ask, _"Will they remember?"_

"_I don't know," _she says, _"I guess we'll see." _

"_Yeah, I guess so, _I answer, stepping towards the door. I take a deep breath, tentatively place my hand on the knob and pull it open. The blackness surrounds me more and for a minute it's all I can see. I slowly slip out of consciousness, letting myself fade in with it. My last thought is, _Please let this work. _

**A/N: Well, now Ramona has solved the mystery. All that's left is the final chapter. Also, for those who are reading this and interested, I've started reading the comics for this series as well. I've read volumes 3, 4, and 5 already. (Still waiting for 1, 2, and 6 to be available from the library.) ****Anyway, the point of this little diatribe is that I might try to base a fic off the comics as well, so keep an eye out for it. =)**


	10. Chapter Ten: Return

Chapter Ten: Return

(Ramona's POV)

My eyes ease open slowly and I try to adjust to the lack of darkness. I was enveloped in it for a while after opening the door, but now it's fading away. I smile a little as I see the sunlight streaming in through the window of my apartment. Does that mean that I got my reality back? Only one way to find out. I crawl out of bed and walk over to the phone, dialing Scott's number. No answer, but it does go to his voice mail. I don't leave him a message, but only because I know one other person who can tell me where he is right now.

"Heeeeeyyyy its Ramona," Wallace says when I dial his number.

**Name: Wallace Wells**

**Age: 25**

**Status: On the phone and drunk as hell.**

"Wallace, are you drunk again?" I ask him in an exasperated.

"Of course I'm drunk, didn't you read my status info?" Wallace asked. I let out an exasperated sigh.

"Whatever," I tell him, "Do you know where Scott is?"

"He went with Kim to Envy's party," he says with a slurred voice, "That bitch!"

"Dude, Wallace, Envy's cool now, remember?" I remind him.

"Ahhh once a bitch, always a bitch," Wallace gripes.

"Just tell me where they are Wallace," I tell him.

"Envy's place," he says.

"Thanks Wallace," I tell him.

"Sure Ramona, it's your funeral," he says, hanging up the phone. I decide to grab something nice to wear before leaving, but I realize that Scott won't really give a damn what I wear. I grab a light blue hoodie and matching skirt and quickly change into them. How should I get there? Entering by way of subspace seems a little tacky now for some reason. On the other hand, it is the fastest method of travel. On a third hand though, I feel kind of wiped. If I go in there now I may not be able to leave again. Better safe than sorry. I pull on a pair of relatively comfortable shoes and head the door. Envy's place isn't too far, but for me it isn't short enough. Having to spend the last few days only able to visit Scott in my dreams has got me in kind of a rush. I'm out of breath by the time I reach it. I pull open the door.

"Ramona Flowers," a female voice calls to me, "Good to see you." Envy, dressed to the nines as usual.

"Hey Envy," I greet her, "Is Scott here?"

"I saw him with Kim a while ago," she says, "I think they went out to the balcony."

"Thanks Envy," I say, "Hey um, how are you doing?"

"Better," she says, "I got out of business with Gideon's little empire. Apparently, him getting his ass handed to him by Scott was a big legal loophole."

"Glad to hear it," I tell her, laughing.

"I don't know why I even got involved with him," she says, "The guy was such a prick."

"Hey, don't sweat it," I tell her, "It happens. Besides, you and I are in the same boat on that one. I did a lot of crap for him that I'm not proud of, but at some point you have to stop blaming yourself. Just figured that one out the hard way."

"Good advice I guess," she says with a grin, "Thanks Ramona."

"It was nothing," I tell her.

"Whatever you say," she says, "Now I have to go be a good hostess. Go see your boyfriend, will you? He hasn't shut up about you since he got here."

"I'll do that," I tell her.

"Oh, one more thing," she says, "I don't go by Envy anymore. Call me Natalie." I nod and she gives a satisfied smile before walking off.

I head out to the balcony and see Scott and Kim standing there, dressed up even. Kim is wearing at a bright blue dress and Scott is wearing that suit from Value Village.

"You two look like a couple of refugees from a dollhouse," I comment, grinning at them.

"Ramona," Scott says, "Hey. You came."

"Yeah Scott," I tell him, "I wouldn't have missed it. It's so good to see you." I rush up to him and throw my arms around him.

"Hey, I know we just went through a life and death thing back there, but there's no need to be all sappy," he says, "Not that I'm not flattered and stuff." He gives me his trademark nerdy grin.

"I'm sorry Scott," I tell him, "I'm sorry that I was so stupid."

"Feeling guilty isn't stupid Ramona," he says, "In fact, I think I'd be more worried if you didn't."

"Thanks," I tell him with a small smile.

"Hey, if we're done being all sweet and romantic, let's go get smashed," Kim says, "I mean, this is a party, right? Let's cut loose."

"I can do that," Scott says, pumping a fist in the air.

"I thought you didn't drink Scott," I say, giving him a confused look.

"Today's a special occasion," he said, "Kim's been filling me in on what happened with NegaRamona. That's a good thing, so let's celebrate."

"All right, sure," I agree, "Where's the beer?"

"Over here," Scott says, leading the way. Once we find the cooler, which is huge by the way, and each grab a beer.

"What are these?" I ask.

"Molson," Kim says, "Local brand. Better than that cheap American swill any day."

"Hey, my dad drinks that cheap American swill," I tell her jokingly.

"Try this," Scott recommends, "You'll never want to go back."

"Hey, can I join in?" Natalie's voice asks as she walks over.

"It's your party," Scott points out, "Knock a few back with us if you want."

"Cool," she says, grabbing a Molson. "In that case, I propose a toast. To Ramona's evil exes; may they burn in the hottest fire of Hell."

"I'll drink to that," I say, grinning. We all clink our Molson bottles together and begin to drink. _Let the good times roll on, _I think to myself, grinning.

**The scene centers on Ramona's smiling face before fading to black**

**A/N: Well, here we are, the end. You slogged through all ten chapters of my crappy fight scenes, occasionally poor characterization and bits of comedic fluff that didn't have shit to do with the storyline. Congratulations. Have a cookie. *bakes a fresh plate of cookies.* Anyway, thanks for hanging there. As I mentioned earlier, my next fic will be an attempt to make a story based on the actual comics. I've already got a basic plot in mind, so hopefully that'll be along pretty soon.**


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